Free State of Jones (2016) Movie Review

In 1862 during the height of the American Civil War, Newton Knight (Matthew McConaughey) is a Confederate medical runner on the Mississippi frontlines. When his nephew dies in battle, Knight decides to get out and give the kid a proper burial at home. Doing this, however, paints Knight as a deserter, and he is pursued accordingly by the army.

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The film is stylistically Continue reading Free State of Jones (2016) Movie Review

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The Legend of Tarzan (2016) Movie Review

In The Legend of Tarzan, Jane (Margot Robbie) and John Clayton (Alexander Skarsgard), aka Tarzan, return to the jungle years after Tarzan has acclimated to high class civilized life. The story of their relationship is told in flashbacks, where Tarzan is seen as a boy raised by apes and Jane as the daughter of an American teacher.

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These flashbacks are shot with little care. Motion is blurred. Camera angles are distorted and displeasing to the eye. The color palette is drab and cold.

When slave traders led by Leon Rom (Christoph Waltz) steal Jane away, Tarzan ventures to save her. The narrative is simple, and thus not the crux of entertainment value to be found in this film. What the film is meant to provide instead is Continue reading The Legend of Tarzan (2016) Movie Review

Best Movies of 2016 (So Far)

We’ve reached the midpoint of the calendar year. A lot of movies have been released. Some surprisingly good. Others leaving a bad taste in everybody’s mouths. Here’s a list of some of the best movies of the year as of June 21, organized by release date.

 

Deadpool

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Deadpool was a film that could have went poorly. Instead, it became one of the bigger surprises at the theater this year. Many were quick to note that Continue reading Best Movies of 2016 (So Far)

Box Office Most Wanted Ep. 3 – Alone in the Dark

Note: Heavy spoilers for Alone in the Dark.

Box Office Most Wanted is a series dedicated to discussing some of the lowest grossing films of all time. The list of films can be found, and are ranked according to, the Box Office Mojo list of the “Worst Openings – Very Wide,” which is to say the lowest grossing opening weekends from films released in 2,000+ theaters domestically (U.S. and Canada).

 

Alone in the Dark

  • Release Date – January 28, 2005
  • Production Budget – $20 million
  • Size of Release – 2,124 theaters
  • Opening Weekend Box Office – $2,834,421
  • Total Box Office – $5,178,569
  • 27th lowest box office opening in a wide release ever

 

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Time to put on my serious face!

Oh, Uwe Boll, how majestic a creature thou art. Your movies are like nails on a chalkboard personified, and nobody will fund your next movie. You are cinema’s magical unicorn without Continue reading Box Office Most Wanted Ep. 3 – Alone in the Dark

Independence Day: Resurgence (2016) Movie Review

After 20 years of dormancy of alien technology left on Earth after the events of Independence Day, the alien presence suddenly returns. It is a resurgence, if you will. There are far more specifics involved in the plot, I guess, but none of it really matters. This movie is about one thing and one thing only: awesome science fiction fight sequences.

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We get this, eventually. Until then, it is mainly just Continue reading Independence Day: Resurgence (2016) Movie Review

The Neon Demon (2016) Movie Review

The first image we see in The Neon Demon, following a glittery opening credits sequence featuring trance synths, is a shot of Jesse (Elle Fanning) lying on a couch, her throat slit and blood draining down her limp arm. It is a photoshoot, captured by a leery-eyed Dean (Karl Glusman).

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Jesse is trying to break out in the modeling business, moving to Los Angeles on a whim and being whisked away into an indulgent world of Continue reading The Neon Demon (2016) Movie Review

Weekend Box Office Predictions: 6/24 – 6/26

This weekend has a slew of new movies being released. Independence Day: Resurgence is looking to be a box office smash as its predecessor once was, although the numbers will likely be far less stellar. The Blake Lively thriller The Shallows, too, is looking for a piece of the pie by also providing a throwback to a box office behemoth of old, Jaws.

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Free State of Jones and The Neon Demon also have releases. The former is hoping for Continue reading Weekend Box Office Predictions: 6/24 – 6/26