July. There are movies. Some of them are big. Some of them will suck. Must I go on writing preamble?
Do we need another Spider-Man movie? He was my favorite comic book character as a child. Then I grew older and cynical and found out about Watchman and The Killing Joke. Either way, my inner child is sick of this continuous churn-out of your friendly neighborhood web-slinger.
We get it: he’s younger, the eyes on the suit move, Aunt May is hot. Marvel Studios might have a better grasp on this superhero thing than Sony, but that doesn’t mean people were clamoring for a sixth Spider-Man film this quickly.
A Ghost Story
The triumvirate of David Lowery, Rooney Mara, and Casey Affleck return in A Ghost Story, the Sundance smash meditation on life and loss. It looks…interesting. The trailer makes it seem off tonally, too quirky for its earnest subject matter.
Whether that is the case with the film at large is still a question, but A Ghost Story looks to counter-program the larger films of the Summer by weedling its way beyond art theaters.
War For the Planet of the Apes
Dawn for the Planet of the Apes was a damn good time at the movies. No question. But I can’t help but feel like these revamped Apes films are over-stuffing themselves…overcompensating for a lack of story, perhaps. The premise of this film seems ungodly simple.
I guess a film about hyper-intelligent apes rising up and overthrowing the human race doesn’t need a whole lot of nuance to it, but I have a strange feeling that this threequel will lack the surprising amount of character depth that was found in Dawn.
But, you know, apes on horses shooting guns at Woody Harrelson. How could you mess that up?
I want real hard for Wish Upon to be a backdoor Wishmaster reboot. Anything less and I will not be satisfied.
If I were to pick any working director to take up the next big Hollywood war epic (that is to say, any working director who hasn’t already taken up that mantle in the past), I would pick Christopher Nolan. He has the attention to ensemble casts and visual spectacle that is perfect for what Dunkirk seems to be.
The poster for Girls Trip uses the same, between-the-legs shot of dozens of other film posters. It is, often, a direct male gaze poster meant to entice young men into buying a ticket to an otherwise piss-poor movie.
Here, at least, it is the female gaze. But that doesn’t mean it won’t be a piss-poor movie.
Valerian and the City of a Thousand Planets
How long do we have to go on before people realize that Luc Besson is not a master filmmaker? The Professional is a wonderful piece, one that is unlike the rest of his other movies (in a good way). The Fifth Element is over-blown by its cult status. It’s ok. Lucy, though. There’s nothing there.
Valerian and the City of Long-Ass Titles looks visually…something. Gaudy, perhaps, is the best word. But it doesn’t look like much else.
Listen, I don’t want to engage in the male gaze. But what I am supposed to do about Sofia Boutella…why does this feel like deja vu?
Atomic Blonde feels like the next John Wick-style, no-holds-barred action film. Makes sense, given it is coming from a John Wick co-director David Leitch. It looks like a ton of fun, and maybe it actually will be.
The Emoji Movie
Is there an emoji for giving the concept of an emoji the middle finger?
An Inconvenient Sequel
Global warming still exists. Oh, Spoiler Alert.
As always, thanks for reading!
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—Alex Brannan (@TheAlexBrannan)