Category Archives: Loath It

Movies that are not worth a watch for any reason. Ever.

The Emoji Movie (2017) Movie Review

The Emoji Movie is a filthy and irresponsible cash grab that is insulting to the concept of childhood and features full-length advertisements for Candy Crush, Youtube, Instagram, and Just Dance.

the-emoji-movie-2017-review-terrible

The film is a grating experience chock full of Continue reading The Emoji Movie (2017) Movie Review

Advertisements

Fifty Shades Darker (2017) Movie Review

Let me get the positives of Fifty Shades Darker out of the way so we can start making jokes. 1) Star lighting showcases our “steamy” talent quite adequately. 2) As with its predecessor, the production design is well-conceived. 3) Academy Award-winner Kim Basinger appears, and should be in a better movie than this.

fifty-shades-darker-2017-movie-review

BDSM is still viewed in this film as a Continue reading Fifty Shades Darker (2017) Movie Review

Foodfight! (2012): The Most Terrifying, Inappropriate Children’s Movie

The premise of the ill-fated, surprisingly high budgeted (estimated at $65 million, a $65 million that cannot be found on screen) Foodfight! is enough to make most people cringe at the exploitation of audiences. During the after hours at a grocery store dubbed “Marketroplis,” the food products come to life (and the store itself morphs into a weird alternate food universe for some reason). Some of these food products are familiar to us: Mr. Clean, Mrs. Butterworth, Charlie Tuna. The concept of pushing product placement on such an overt level to children is discomforting enough. Then, of course, there is the plot of the film.

foodfight!-2012-movie-review-worst-movie-of-all-time

Foodfight! follows an ex-detective dog (Charlie Sheen) who quits the biz after his bride-to-be mysteriously vanishes from the store. He is pulled out of retirement when a Continue reading Foodfight! (2012): The Most Terrifying, Inappropriate Children’s Movie

The Loft (2015) Movie Review

The Loft begins with distracting shots: intentional blurring and tightly framed, hyper-wide angles. These grotesque wide angles return frequently throughout the length of the film.

2015-movie-review-the-loft-james-marsden-karl-urban

A groveling Karl Urban tepidly growls his lines as Vincent Stevens, a man being interrogated by police after a woman is found dead Continue reading The Loft (2015) Movie Review

Scary Movie 5 (2013) Movie Review

Scary Movie 5: A Scene-by-Scene Analysis (sort of) and Movie Review

Caution: Spoilers ahead

scary-movie-5-2013-movie-review-comedy-horror-parody

From the opening scene, it is clear that the Scary Movie franchise lost its comedic value at least two installments ago. In the cold open, Continue reading Scary Movie 5 (2013) Movie Review