Transformers: The Last Knight is, surprisingly, a movie.
The film is a direct sequel to Transformers: Age of Extinction, not that that is important. Optimus Prime (Peter Cullen), leader of the Autobots, is adrift in space, frosted over in route to his homeworld.
And he will remain frosted over for most of the movie.
Meanwhile, on Earth, various humans have agendas related to Transformers and Continue reading Transformers: The Last Knight (2017) Movie Review
Colossal masquerades itself as a certain type of movie. It opens on the ominous, lingering image of a Kaiju-like monster. Then, sweeping shots of the New York skyline play out over a driving, Dark Knight trilogy-esque score. Then, Gloria (Anne Hathaway) enters, hungover and rambling thinly-veiled excuses to her boyfriend (Dan Stevens) about where she has been.
It doesn’t quite match the previously set tone, does it?
When her boyfriend leaves her due to her drinking problem, Gloria moves back to her hometown, where she falls in with an old friend named Oscar (Jason Sudeikis). An old friend who just so happens to own his father’s bar.
Remember that Kaiju that I mentioned earlier? Whelp…turns out it pantomimes the actions of Gloria when she sets foot on a playground she knew once as a child. It pantomimes everything, including Continue reading Colossal (2017) Movie Review
At first, All Eyez On Me, the new biopic on rap sensation Tupac Shakur (Demetrius Shipp Jr.), comes off as a film trying to be efficiently synoptic, if not a bit rushed in getting to the point.
Within 15 minutes, we watch Tupac’s pregnant mother (played with a tenacious vigor by Danai Gurira) being released from prison, Tupac growing up in a family being watched by the FBI for Black Panther and perhaps criminal affiliations, and moving to Baltimore where his love of poetry and Shakespeare eventually leads to his rap career (once he moves again, this time to Oakland).
This is the first half of the first act. The film runs rampant with Continue reading All Eyez On Me (2017) Movie Review
10 years after their senior year of college, Jess (Scarlett Johansson) is running for Senator. She is also getting married to an awkwardly twee guy named Peter (Paul W. Downs, who also co-wrote the film). To celebrate, her college friends bring her to Florida for a crazy bachelorette party weekend full of partying, drinking, and perhaps some illicit drugs.
Oh, and did I mention the dead stripper?
The first half hour of Rough Night plays like a female version of the Hangover films. Then, the break into the second act comes with its twist—the aforementioned dead stripper, of course—and the film becomes something more Continue reading Rough Night (2017) Movie Review
In 1975, Steven Spielberg’s Jaws changed the way people viewed sharks. Seemingly, he changed that perception forever, as every so often a movie like 47 Meters Down comes out to remind us just how bloodthirsty these giant sea monsters can be.
Now, there is nothing wrong with Continue reading 47 Meters Down (2017) Movie Review
Lightning McQueen (Owen Wilson) isn’t the youthful race car he once was. In fact, Cars 3 makes it a point to reiterate again and again that McQueen is quite old. Given the age of sentient cars is an abstract, hard-to-track concept, I guess this is acceptable.
Technology has advanced (somehow…who builds these cars?) to the point where new rookie racers are optimized for high percentage wins (then again, if antagonist Jackson Storm (Armie Hammer) is the next big thing, wouldn’t all the new cars optimize to the same level of racing, thus making all races even again? And if McQueen can be given those advancements as well, what exactly is stopping him from Continue reading Cars 3 (2017) Movie Review
Megan Leavey is your basic determination story. A short, scrawny U.S. Marine recruit (Kate Mara) struggles her way to a position as a bomb-sniffing dog handler. After she does that she has to train the most ornery Marine dog in the camp. After she does that she has to fight to bring that dog home.
While this narrative shows little signs of originality, it does provide Continue reading Megan Leavey (2017) Movie Review