Category Archives: Quickie Reviews (<400 Words)

All Movie Reviews, Horror, Leave it, Quickie Reviews (<400 Words)

Halloween: The Curse of Michael Myers (1995) Movie Review

November 20, 2015 Alex Brannan

The 1995 Halloween sequel The Curse of Michael Myers is a non-canon plot revolving around cults and a survivor of a previous Myers’ massacre. Teenage Jamie (J.C. Brandy) gives birth to a boy on the eve of Halloween, but the child is abducted. Then, she gets the child back and escapes from the candle-lit void of a soundstage that she is resting in before Myers can get to her. Myers, all the while, is searching for the baby, and killing everyone who gets in his way.

The opening of the film is a confusing mash-up of quick cuts and a voiceover that is easy to ignore. Even later, when Jamie is on the run, the film cuts away from action and uses misplaced ellipsis to makes sure the Continue reading Halloween: The Curse of Michael Myers (1995) Movie Review →

All Movie Reviews, Comedy, Horror, Indie Films, Like It, Quickie Reviews (<400 Words)

Dude Bro Party Massacre III (2015) Movie Review

November 14, 2015 Alex Brannan

After two mass murders in frat houses—recounted in an almost imperceptible montage of brutal murders at the hands of a burn victim serial killer and her daughter “Motherface”—there is a third mass murder of a group of frat bros.

Dude Bro Party Massacre III is a take on B-movie slasher flicks of the 1980s. Filmed in “glorious VHS quality,” the film is Continue reading Dude Bro Party Massacre III (2015) Movie Review →

All Movie Reviews, Drama, Indie Films, Like It, Quickie Reviews (<400 Words)

I Believe in Unicorns (2015) Movie Review

November 14, 2015 Alex Brannan

I Believe in Unicorns is a bildunsroman of a seemingly average order. A teenage outcast–one who is childlike in a way that she shouldn’t be, but somehow it makes perfect sense–falls for a rebellious skater/punk with long hair and unnatural charisma.

The two, Davina (Natalia Dyer) and Sterling (Peter Vack), have a love story. Davina is virginal and naive, yet her voiceover narration (seemingly looking back on the events) is very grounded in the reality of the situation.

Davina and Sterling run away together to start an exciting and spontaneous life on their own. Davina abandons her Continue reading I Believe in Unicorns (2015) Movie Review →

All Movie Reviews, Comedy, Indie Films, Like It, Quickie Reviews (<400 Words)

Mistress America (2015) Movie Review

November 14, 2015 Alex Brannan

Noah Baumbach’s Mistress America follows alienated college freshman Tracy (Lola Kirke). Tracy is a writer wanting to be part of the Mobius Literary Society, but, when she is rejected, ends up on her own.

Enter Brooke (Greta Gerwig, who also co-wrote the film). Brooke is Tracy’s sister to be, as their parents are scheduled to marry in the near future. Brooke takes Tracy under her wing, taking her around New York City and making her feel welcome.

Brooke is undergoing a major business venture: trying to open a niche restaurant. Tracy initially idolizes Brooke, but soon comes to realize that Continue reading Mistress America (2015) Movie Review →

Action/Thriller, All Movie Reviews, Quickie Reviews (<400 Words)

Die Another Day (2002) Movie Review

October 30, 2015 Alex Brannan

In the cold open to Die Another Day, James Bond (Pierce Brosnan) goes undercover in North Korea as an illegal arms dealer trading conflict diamonds for military-grade weaponry. His identity is discovered almost immediately, and an extended hovercraft chase ensues. You read that right. Hovercraft chase.

As is standard with these Brosnan films, the chase is littered with fiery explosions and ends with a flat one-liner. Following the chase, Bond is captured by Continue reading Die Another Day (2002) Movie Review →

Action/Thriller, All Movie Reviews, Quickie Reviews (<400 Words)

Octopussy (1983) Movie Review

October 23, 2015 Alex Brannan

When MI6 agent 009 (Andy Bradford) arrives dying at the British Embassy with a gold Faberge egg, which turns out to be a fabrication, MI6 sends agent 007 James Bond (Roger Moore) to seek out the real egg’s owner. It turns out that the egg can be traced back to Soviet general Orlov (Steven Berkoff).

Octopussy breaks the fourth wall in the strangest way possible when Bond meets a connection in India. The agent in the field, disguised as a snake charmer, plays the Continue reading Octopussy (1983) Movie Review →

All Movie Reviews, Drama, Love It, Quickie Reviews (<400 Words)

Starred Up (2013) Movie Review

September 11, 2015 Alex Brannan

Young violent offender Eric Love (Jack O’Connell) is “starred up,” which is to say that he is transferred to adult prison from juvenile detention. After several violent altercations between Eric and both inmates and prison guards, he is put into rehabilitative treatment with volunteer psychologist Oliver Baumer (Rupert Friend). Serving a life sentence in the same prison is Love’s father Neville (Ben Mendelsohn), who does his best to protect the kid from Continue reading Starred Up (2013) Movie Review →

All Movie Reviews, Comedy, Indie Films, Like It, Quickie Reviews (<400 Words), Romance

[Quickie]: Slow Learners (2015) Movie Review

September 3, 2015 Alex Brannan

“I want to be sex-in-the-bathroom people,” could be the working thesis of Slow Learners, the comedy from Don Argott and Sheena M. Joyce. Platonic friends Anne (Sarah Burns) and Jeff (Adam Pally) aren’t successful in their personal lives. After many failed attempts at relationships, they decide to wholly change their image.

Sound conventional? Don’t worry, it is.

Continue reading [Quickie]: Slow Learners (2015) Movie Review →

All Movie Reviews, Documentary, Love It, Quickie Reviews (<400 Words)

[Quickie] See This Movie: The Wolfpack (2015) Movie Review

July 30, 2015 Alex Brannan

Fascinating. A case study of isolation. And a case study of cinephilia that is utterly unparalleled. The power of cinema as a means of connection to the outside world and as a former of identity has never been exemplified on film in such a way as The Wolfpack presents it.

With essentially nothing else to place the Angulo siblings into society and an alcoholic, domineering man as a father, the boys are Continue reading [Quickie] See This Movie: The Wolfpack (2015) Movie Review →

All Movie Reviews, Drama, Horror, Indie Films, Like It, Quickie Reviews (<400 Words), Romance

[Quickie]: Felt (2015) Movie Review

April 12, 2015 Alex Brannan

Felt is an independent romance-horror-drama from filmmaker Jason Banker. In it, Amy (Amy Everson), an artist who has experienced an unknown sexual assault trauma, hides her identity in her artistic creations. She is distant and reluctant to connect with people.

I will be brief with this review only because I have not let it sink in to the point where I can elaborate on many of my reactions with adequate conviction. What I can say is that Continue reading [Quickie]: Felt (2015) Movie Review →