Category Archives: Horror

All Movie Reviews, Horror, Leave it, Long Reviews (>400 Words)

The Disappointments Room (2016) Movie Review

September 9, 2016 Alex Brannan

The title of The Disappointments Room begs the question: Is The Disappointments Room a disappointment? The short answer: Yes.

The film begins similarly to Haneke’s Funny Games, only without the amazing sound cues. A couple (Kate Beckinsale and Mel Raido) and their young son (Duncan Joiner) move out to the country for a new beginning after a terrible accident. The house, which from certain angles looks more like a castle, is a mess: broken light fixtures, leaking ceilings, junk everywhere. We follow this nuclear family, unassuming and entirely banal, as they fall victim to a strange presence in their home (maybe; it becomes impossible to tell).

The Disappointments Room is a film that is utterly basic. It checks all the boxes of a basic horror movie and then Continue reading The Disappointments Room (2016) Movie Review →

Action/Thriller, All Movie Reviews, Horror, Like It, Sci-Fi/Fantasy

Morgan (2016) Movie Review

September 2, 2016 Alex Brannan

What is the defining characteristic of humanity? What separates us from the rest? Is it compassion? Love? Pain? Fury? These are the questions many science fiction films have grappled with, from 2001 to last year’s Ex Machina. Morgan is the next in line.

Much of the tension in Morgan stems from Continue reading Morgan (2016) Movie Review →

All Movie Reviews, Horror, Like It, Long Reviews (>400 Words)

31 (2016) Movie Review

September 2, 2016 Alex Brannan

Rob Zombie begins his sixth feature film by somewhat breaking the fourth wall with a monologue of almost poetic sadism. Hired killer “Doom-Head” (Richard Brake) spits acid words in closeup, to invigorating effect. This inaugural scene, with its tight closeups and deliberate cadence, is a truly engrossing intro to a horror film.

Zombie, who takes much of his horror stylings from the likes of Tobe Hooper, delves deeper into the raw maw of this inspiration’s brutal realism with 31. The backroads Americana. The rambling van of freewheelers. The promise of chainsaws. 31 wants to be Continue reading 31 (2016) Movie Review →

Action/Thriller, All Movie Reviews, Horror, Like It

Don’t Breathe (2016) Movie Review

August 12, 2016 Alex Brannan

Don’t Breathe opens on an extreme long shot pushing in on a woman being dragged down the street by her hair in broad daylight. The woman is Rocky (Jane Levy), one third of a lowly thieving group. Some time before this inaugural shot, the trio decide to pull a seemingly simple heist on the house of a blind man (Stephen Lang) whose daughter was killed in a hit and run. Of course, nothing is ever as simple as it appears.

The camera work in the film is appealing, almost surprisingly so. Long shots and agile movement contradict genre norms, at least through Continue reading Don’t Breathe (2016) Movie Review →

All Movie Reviews, Horror, Like It, Long Reviews (>400 Words), Short Films

Holidays (2016) Movie Review

August 11, 2016 Alex Brannan

Holidays is the latest in the line of horror anthology films that have been surfacing on online streaming sites in recent years. The conceit of this particular film is to take eight short films from eight different creative teams. Each film focuses on subject matter related to a different holiday of the calendar year. For this review, let’s dive into each short separately before making final judgments on the film as a whole.

Valentine’s Day

High dives are scary. It combines the fear of heights with the fear of drowning. Bullies are scary, too, I guess. As is Continue reading Holidays (2016) Movie Review →

All Movie Reviews, Comedy, Horror, Leave it, Long Reviews (>400 Words)

Sharknado 4: The 4th Awakens (2016) Movie Review

July 31, 2016 Alex Brannan

Oh Sharknado, what are we to do with you? Being the main vein of Syfy’s annual income, a trilogy just wasn’t enough. Sharknado needs to be a saga!

For the uninitiated, Sharknado is exactly the Frankenstein’s monster it sounds like: sharks + tornadoes = sharks inside tornadoes aiming to kill everybody. It’s Jaws meets Twister, etc. etc. etc. What began as an innocent, Tara Reid-starring B-movie on basic cable has blown up to the appointment viewing, C-list celebrity cameo filled annual event that we now know. We’ve survived four years of Sharknado, and we didn’t even get a stupid T-shirt.

To understand the tone of the Sharknado-verse, just look at the climactic end of Sharknado 3: Oh Hell No!. Our heroes fight sharks in space, stars Ian Ziering and Tara Reid are both eaten by sharks which fall back to Earth, they both escape from said shark bellies, Tara Reid pushing out first a newborn baby. Depending on who you ask, the films are Continue reading Sharknado 4: The 4th Awakens (2016) Movie Review →

All Movie Reviews, Horror, Indie Films, Like It, Long Reviews (>400 Words)

Deathgasm (2015) Movie Review

July 22, 2016 Alex Brannan

Brodie (Milo Cawthorne) moves in with his extended family after his mother is arrested. He is a metal-head burnout in the eyes of those around him, and his devil may care attitude lands him in with another local anarchistic youth Zakk (James Blake). They form a literal blood-pact, make some napalm, and start a band. Oh, and they also summon a demon. Because, you know, movies.

Deathgasm strives to have the same devil may care tone as Brodie and company. It’s quick to Continue reading Deathgasm (2015) Movie Review →

All Movie Reviews, Horror

Evil Bong (2006) is a Masterpiece

July 12, 2016 Alex Brannan

To those whom it may concern, spoilers for Evil Bong.

Alistair (David Weidoff) is a nerd; we can tell from his symmetrically parted hair, glasses, and pocket protector. Alistair moves in with three cool bros named Larnell (John Patrick Jordan), Bachman (Mitch Eakins), and Brett (Brian Lloyd); we know they’re cool because they lift five-pound weights, eat red meat, and always ask if you’re a narc before letting you into their crib.

Our heroes are tragic figures. Bachman’s seashell busted from mishandling, he is destined never to hear the ocean again. Once primed to be a major leaguer, Brett lost his shot at stardom due to Continue reading Evil Bong (2006) is a Masterpiece →

All Movie Reviews, Horror, Leave it, Long Reviews (>400 Words)

The Purge: Election Year (2016) Movie Review

July 1, 2016 Alex Brannan

In the United States, a bitter political battleground is underway over the continuation of the Purge, an annual event in which all crime, including murder, is legal for a 12 hour period.

One former Purge survivor, Senator Charlie Roan (Elizabeth Mitchell), has dedicated her life and career to ending the Purge and is at the precipice of taking the presidency. Certain government officials who benefit financially from the Purge, however, are making it a priority to shut the senator up. Permanently.

To be fair, this is the most Continue reading The Purge: Election Year (2016) Movie Review →

All Movie Reviews, Horror, Long Reviews (>400 Words), Love It

The Neon Demon (2016) Movie Review

June 25, 2016 Alex Brannan

The first image we see in The Neon Demon, following a glittery opening credits sequence featuring trance synths, is a shot of Jesse (Elle Fanning) lying on a couch, her throat slit and blood draining down her limp arm. It is a photoshoot, captured by a leery-eyed Dean (Karl Glusman).

Jesse is trying to break out in the modeling business, moving to Los Angeles on a whim and being whisked away into an indulgent world of Continue reading The Neon Demon (2016) Movie Review →