Category Archives: Long Reviews (>400 Words)

All Movie Reviews, Horror, Leave it, Long Reviews (>400 Words)

Phoenix Forgotten (2017) Movie Review

April 21, 2017 Alex Brannan

Phoenix Forgotten opens on Sophie’s (Florence Hartigan) 6th birthday party. Family members give testimonials to camera about Sophie; advice for her as she grows up. Then, a voiceover from Sophie begins the narrative. Her brother Josh (Luke Spencer Roberts) and two of his friends went missing in the desert in 1997. Now, Sophie is returning home to make a documentary about his disappearance.

The film plays with framing through this setup. In 1997, Josh, obsessed with seeing lights in the Phoenix sky that may or may not be a UFO, starts Continue reading Phoenix Forgotten (2017) Movie Review →

Action/Thriller, All Movie Reviews, Comedy, Like It, Long Reviews (>400 Words)

Free Fire (2017) Movie Review

April 20, 2017 Alex Brannan

Free Fire, the new film from Kill List director Ben Wheatley, takes place during a contentious international arms deal in a spacious abandoned warehouse in 1978 Boston. As expected, it does not go as planned.

Interestingly enough, the deal plays out in an anachronistically polite way. Not tea party polite, but more polite than Continue reading Free Fire (2017) Movie Review →

Action/Thriller, All Movie Reviews, Like It, Long Reviews (>400 Words)

The Fate of the Furious (2017) Movie Review

April 12, 2017 Alex Brannan

In Havana, Dominic Toretto’s (Vin Diesel) cousin (Janmarco Santiago) gets his car towed by the man with the fastest car in Cuba. Toretto challenges the man to a race for the cousin’s car. What comes from this is a race of the fastest car against the slowest car. It is a race predicated on family and honor, and, of course, Dom wins.

Those unfamiliar to the The Fast and The Furious franchise may find this cold open to The Fate of the Furious, this eighth installment to the series, silly, both in theme and in how it plays out. But it is also Continue reading The Fate of the Furious (2017) Movie Review →

All Movie Reviews, Leave it, Long Reviews (>400 Words), Sci-Fi/Fantasy

The Discovery (2017) Movie Review

April 11, 2017 Alex Brannan

What happens in a world where proof of an afterlife is definitive? Thus is the ethical dilemma of The Discovery, the new film from Charlie McDowell (The One I Love) and distributed via Netflix.

Thomas Harbor (Robert Redford), the man credited for what is dubbed “the discovery” grants unprecedented access with an interview; an interview that ends in a crew member’s on-air suicide.

Elsewhere, Will (Jason Segel) and Isla (Rooney Mara) meet on an otherwise empty ferry. They naval-gaze for a time, discussing how people “grow into their names” or not, how suicide groups in the face of the discovery are disingenuous, and then finally the truth of Continue reading The Discovery (2017) Movie Review →

All Movie Reviews, Comedy, Drama, Like It, Long Reviews (>400 Words)

The Hero (2017) Movie Review

April 11, 2017 Alex Brannan

Lee Hayden (Sam Elliott) is a washed up white-hat Western hero dreaming of his next movie while smoking joints and recording voiceover for advertisements. The Hero is a movie about a sad old man, a lightly humorous meditation on living with differing physical and mental ages.

Diagnosed with pancreatic cancer, Lee wanders through his twilight existence trying to find Continue reading The Hero (2017) Movie Review →

Action/Thriller, All Movie Reviews, Long Reviews (>400 Words), Love It

Furious 7 (2015) Movie Review

April 10, 2017 Alex Brannan

Let me start by explaining what I wanted to do with this review, and then I will explain what is actually happening. I have seen Furious 7 twice without seeing any of the other Fast & Furious films. What I planned to do for this retrospective, which is in preparation for the new movie The Fate of the Furious, was to go back and watch every Fast & Furious film and review them.

Instead, I watched the first two and then decided to watch this again. Drunk on micro-brew beer and Mexican food. Because that is clearly the most reasonable state to watch a Fast & Furious film in. The only thing closer to right would be for me to be drinking strictly Corona.

As a result, I am reviewing Furious 7 without a whole lot of knowledge of the franchise. And I am also watching it drunk, so, you know, f*** it.

Deckard Shaw (Jason Statham) is the brother of Owen Shaw (Luke Evans). And he is out for revenge. Why? Because cars…and stuff. He’s Jason Statham; you really don’t need to be asking many questions. Get off my back. He’s the villain, that’s all you need to know.

Brian (Paul Walker) is now a family man, married to Jordana Brewster’s Mia with a kid. Relegated to a mini van, he feels Continue reading Furious 7 (2015) Movie Review →

Action/Thriller, All Movie Reviews, Like It, Long Reviews (>400 Words)

Furious 6 (2013) Movie Review

April 8, 2017 Alex Brannan

The later three The Fast and Furious films, excluding the upcoming The Fate of the Furious, are heralded as the rare occasion in which the later installments of a franchise are better than their predecessors. This trilogy has been hugely successful from all sides. Fans like them. Critics tolerate them, at the very least. And the box office loves them.

Furious Six is where all pretense of the franchise’s premise fall away. The film is barely about Continue reading Furious 6 (2013) Movie Review →

All Movie Reviews, Drama, Like It, Long Reviews (>400 Words)

Golden Exits (2017) Movie Review

April 7, 2017 Alex Brannan

Golden Exits is a film about the over-lapping lives of people they don’t make movies about, as admitted by the film itself.

Nick (Adam Horovitz), a mild-mannered archivist, is married to the increasingly depressive Alyssa (Chloe Sevigny), who is sisters of Gwen (Mary Louise Parker), a client of Nick dealing with the death of her father, who has an intimate relationship with the mentally troubled Sam (Lily Rabe), who is friends with consoling Jess (Analeigh Tipton), who is married to her boss Buddy (Jason Schwartzman). And all wrapped up in this is a young Australian woman abroad in New York (Emily Browning).

Browning’s Naomi is a character that the film touts as a glorified siren, a sexual object to tempt Continue reading Golden Exits (2017) Movie Review →

Action/Thriller, All Movie Reviews, Long Reviews (>400 Words), Love It

Fast Five (2011) Movie Review

April 7, 2017 Alex Brannan

Fast Five, the fittingly-titled fifth film in the Fast & Furious franchise, begins where its predecessor left off: a high stakes, improbable break out of Dominic Toretto (Vin Diesel) by his best friend Brian O’Conner (Paul Walker) and sister Mia (Jordana Brewster).

Following this successful bus flipping, Brian and Mia go into hiding, proving that they are now full-blown, no remorse criminals.

There is a noticeable shift in quality between Continue reading Fast Five (2011) Movie Review →

All Movie Reviews, Comedy, Long Reviews (>400 Words), Love It, Sci-Fi/Fantasy

Infinity Baby (2017) Movie Review

April 5, 2017 Alex Brannan

A seeming momma’s boy with blunt high standards and commitment issues (Kieran Culkin), two dopey lackeys with differing levels of alcohol intake (Kevin Corrigan and Martin Starr), and a take-no-prisoners, fast-talking white collar type (Nick Offerman). In short, a bunch of cold, insensitive pricks.

Thus is the cast of characters initially established in Infinity Baby. They all work at different rungs of the ladder for the eponymous company, whose aim is to get rid of thousands of babies who never age. A botched stem cell experiment, compliments of Mitsubishi.

The film fully acknowledges the laundry list of flaws that this infinity baby premise presents. In fact, it Continue reading Infinity Baby (2017) Movie Review →

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