Category Archives: All Movie Reviews

All Movie Reviews, Horror, Leave it, Long Reviews (>400 Words)

The Purge: Election Year (2016) Movie Review

In the United States, a bitter political battleground is underway over the continuation of the Purge, an annual event in which all crime, including murder, is legal for a 12 hour period.

One former Purge survivor, Senator Charlie Roan (Elizabeth Mitchell), has dedicated her life and career to ending the Purge and is at the precipice of taking the presidency. Certain government officials who benefit financially from the Purge, however, are making it a priority to shut the senator up. Permanently.

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To be fair, this is the most Continue reading The Purge: Election Year (2016) Movie Review →

All Movie Reviews, Drama, Leave it

Free State of Jones (2016) Movie Review

In 1862 during the height of the American Civil War, Newton Knight (Matthew McConaughey) is a Confederate medical runner on the Mississippi frontlines. When his nephew dies in battle, Knight decides to get out and give the kid a proper burial at home. Doing this, however, paints Knight as a deserter, and he is pursued accordingly by the army.

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The film is stylistically Continue reading Free State of Jones (2016) Movie Review →

Action/Thriller, All Movie Reviews, Leave it, Long Reviews (>400 Words)

The Legend of Tarzan (2016) Movie Review

In The Legend of Tarzan, Jane (Margot Robbie) and John Clayton (Alexander Skarsgard), aka Tarzan, return to the jungle years after Tarzan has acclimated to high class civilized life. The story of their relationship is told in flashbacks, where Tarzan is seen as a boy raised by apes and Jane as the daughter of an American teacher.

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These flashbacks are shot with little care. Motion is blurred. Camera angles are distorted and displeasing to the eye. The color palette is drab and cold.

When slave traders led by Leon Rom (Christoph Waltz) steal Jane away, Tarzan ventures to save her. The narrative is simple, and thus not the crux of entertainment value to be found in this film. What the film is meant to provide instead is Continue reading The Legend of Tarzan (2016) Movie Review →

All Movie Reviews, Leave it, Sci-Fi/Fantasy

Independence Day: Resurgence (2016) Movie Review

After 20 years of dormancy of alien technology left on Earth after the events of Independence Day, the alien presence suddenly returns. It is a resurgence, if you will. There are far more specifics involved in the plot, I guess, but none of it really matters. This movie is about one thing and one thing only: awesome science fiction fight sequences.

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We get this, eventually. Until then, it is mainly just Continue reading Independence Day: Resurgence (2016) Movie Review →

All Movie Reviews, Horror, Long Reviews (>400 Words), Love It

The Neon Demon (2016) Movie Review

The first image we see in The Neon Demon, following a glittery opening credits sequence featuring trance synths, is a shot of Jesse (Elle Fanning) lying on a couch, her throat slit and blood draining down her limp arm. It is a photoshoot, captured by a leery-eyed Dean (Karl Glusman).

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Jesse is trying to break out in the modeling business, moving to Los Angeles on a whim and being whisked away into an indulgent world of Continue reading The Neon Demon (2016) Movie Review →

Action/Thriller, All Movie Reviews, Leave it, Long Reviews (>400 Words)

The Shallows (2016) Movie Review

On a Latin American beach, a young boy finds a helmet with a waterproof camera attached to it that depicts the brutal death of a surfer at the hands of a shark.

We then cut to an unnaturally high key-lit, lens flare-heavy jungle road in which Nancy (Blake Lively) is being driven to a beach, only to find that her surfing buddy has flaked on her. She decides to go out to sea on her own, though, given the sentimental value of the beach that she doesn’t know the name of.

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This scene is shot like a dream sequence, but unintentionally. Lens flares and distortion caused by the angle of the camera on the car causes Continue reading The Shallows (2016) Movie Review →

All Movie Reviews, Horror, Indie Films, Leave it, Long Reviews (>400 Words)

Clown (2016) Movie Review

Clown, “presented” by notable horror director Eli Roth and written-directed by Cop Car and future Spider-Man: Homecoming director Jon Watts, has gotten a U.S. VOD and limited theatrical release after two years. The film was made and premiered prior to Watt’s last year’s critical darling Cop Car, and it is a psychological horror film involving everyone’s favorite terrorizing force: Clowns.

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When the hired clown cancels last minute, Jack’s (Christian Distefano) birthday party is in jeopardy. Luckily, good ol’ dad Kent (Andy Powers) swoops in to save the day, Continue reading Clown (2016) Movie Review →

All Movie Reviews, Comedy, Like It, Quickie Reviews (<400 Words)

Central Intelligence (2016) Movie Review

Two high school peers: one, Calvin (Kevin Hart), is destined for greatness, and the other, Robert (Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson) is relentlessly bullied into submission. 20 years later, Calvin is at a dead end job with no hope of upward mobility and Robert is looking to reconnect. Only, this seemingly innocent encounter promises to be something much more impactful on Calvin’s life.

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This is the basic setup. Hart plays the straight man and Johnson plays the odd man. Johnson here plays a character with Continue reading Central Intelligence (2016) Movie Review →

All Movie Reviews, Drama, Indie Films, Long Reviews (>400 Words), Love It

Land and Shade (La Tierra y la Sombra) (2015) Movie Review

Alfonso (Haimer Leal) travels to his old home, where he meets the family he abandoned: his wife (Hilda Ruiz), his ailing son (Edison Raigosa), the son’s wife (Marleyda Soto), and his grandson (Jose Felipe Cardenas).

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The first few shots of the film are Continue reading Land and Shade (La Tierra y la Sombra) (2015) Movie Review →

All Movie Reviews, Animation, Love It, Short Films

Piper (2016) Short Film Review

Piper is the latest in a long line of pre-feature Pixar short films. This particular animated short debuted ahead of Finding Dory, and, while Finding Dory is an all right time at the movies, Piper may blow it out of the water (apologies for the pun).

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The film is simple enough in narrative with a sickeningly adorable conceit: Continue reading Piper (2016) Short Film Review →