Category Archives: Genres

Action/Thriller, All Movie Reviews, Long Reviews (>400 Words), Love It

Furious 7 (2015) Movie Review

Let me start by explaining what I wanted to do with this review, and then I will explain what is actually happening. I have seen Furious 7 twice without seeing any of the other Fast & Furious films. What I planned to do for this retrospective, which is in preparation for the new movie The Fate of the Furious, was to go back and watch every Fast & Furious film and review them.

Instead, I watched the first two and then decided to watch this again. Drunk on micro-brew beer and Mexican food. Because that is clearly the most reasonable state to watch a Fast & Furious film in. The only thing closer to right would be for me to be drinking strictly Corona.

As a result, I am reviewing Furious 7 without a whole lot of knowledge of the franchise. And I am also watching it drunk, so, you know, f*** it.

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Deckard Shaw (Jason Statham) is the brother of Owen Shaw (Luke Evans). And he is out for revenge. Why? Because cars…and stuff. He’s Jason Statham; you really don’t need to be asking many questions. Get off my back. He’s the villain, that’s all you need to know.

Brian (Paul Walker) is now a family man, married to Jordana Brewster’s Mia with a kid. Relegated to a mini van, he feels Continue reading Furious 7 (2015) Movie Review →

Action/Thriller, All Movie Reviews, Like It, Long Reviews (>400 Words)

Furious 6 (2013) Movie Review

The later three The Fast and Furious films, excluding the upcoming The Fate of the Furious, are heralded as the rare occasion in which the later installments of a franchise are better than their predecessors. This trilogy has been hugely successful from all sides. Fans like them. Critics tolerate them, at the very least. And the box office loves them.

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Furious Six is where all pretense of the franchise’s premise fall away. The film is barely about Continue reading Furious 6 (2013) Movie Review →

All Movie Reviews, Comedy, Leave it

Going in Style (2017) Movie Review

Joe (Michael Caine), aging, out of a job, no pension, defaults on his mortgage and is on the verge of losing his house. To solve this problem and stick it to those who wronged him in the process, he decides to recruit his friends (Morgan Freeman and Alan Arkin) to help him rob a bank.

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Zach Braff’s direction in Going in Style yields a social problem comedy that is Continue reading Going in Style (2017) Movie Review →

All Movie Reviews, Drama, Like It, Long Reviews (>400 Words)

Golden Exits (2017) Movie Review

Golden Exits is a film about the over-lapping lives of people they don’t make movies about, as admitted by the film itself.

Nick (Adam Horovitz), a mild-mannered archivist, is married to the increasingly depressive Alyssa (Chloe Sevigny), who is sisters of Gwen (Mary Louise Parker), a client of Nick dealing with the death of her father, who has an intimate relationship with the mentally troubled Sam (Lily Rabe), who is friends with consoling Jess (Analeigh Tipton), who is married to her boss Buddy (Jason Schwartzman). And all wrapped up in this is a young Australian woman abroad in New York (Emily Browning).

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Browning’s Naomi is a character that the film touts as a glorified siren, a sexual object to tempt Continue reading Golden Exits (2017) Movie Review →

Action/Thriller, All Movie Reviews, Long Reviews (>400 Words), Love It

Fast Five (2011) Movie Review

Fast Five, the fittingly-titled fifth film in the Fast & Furious franchise, begins where its predecessor left off: a high stakes, improbable break out of Dominic Toretto (Vin Diesel) by his best friend Brian O’Conner (Paul Walker) and sister Mia (Jordana Brewster).

Following this successful bus flipping, Brian and Mia go into hiding, proving that they are now full-blown, no remorse criminals.

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There is a noticeable shift in quality between Continue reading Fast Five (2011) Movie Review →

All Movie Reviews, Comedy, Long Reviews (>400 Words), Love It, Sci-Fi/Fantasy

Infinity Baby (2017) Movie Review

A seeming momma’s boy with blunt high standards and commitment issues (Kieran Culkin), two dopey lackeys with differing levels of alcohol intake (Kevin Corrigan and Martin Starr), and a take-no-prisoners, fast-talking white collar type (Nick Offerman). In short, a bunch of cold, insensitive pricks.

Thus is the cast of characters initially established in Infinity Baby. They all work at different rungs of the ladder for the eponymous company, whose aim is to get rid of thousands of babies who never age. A botched stem cell experiment, compliments of Mitsubishi.

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The film fully acknowledges the laundry list of flaws that this infinity baby premise presents. In fact, it Continue reading Infinity Baby (2017) Movie Review →

All Movie Reviews, Like It, Long Reviews (>400 Words), Sci-Fi/Fantasy

Ghost in the Shell (2017) Movie Review

In an indefinite future, cybernetic enhancements have become a growing trend. On the forefront of this advancement is Major (Scarlett Johansson), a human mind placed into a robotic shell. To some, the perfect weapon.

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The premise of Ghost in the Shell leaves the narrative bleeding with Continue reading Ghost in the Shell (2017) Movie Review →

All Movie Reviews, Horror, Like It, Long Reviews (>400 Words)

The Dark Tapes (2017) Movie Review

The Dark Tapes is an independent found footage horror anthology. It is a film in the same family as the V/H/S films, The ABCs of Death, and the recent XX. The difference between those films and this is that, while other anthology films split its work among multiple directors who each take on a self-contained short, The Dark Tapes is a film written by one screenwriter (Michael McQuown, who also shares directorial credit with Vincent Guastini).

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As such, the frame narrative should share some cohesion across the film. The immediate impression, thus, is that the various “chapters” bleed together. Glitches transition between the shorts on the “tape.”

What this does at first is cause Continue reading The Dark Tapes (2017) Movie Review →

All Movie Reviews, Horror, Like It, Long Reviews (>400 Words)

The Devil’s Candy (2017) Movie Review

A family of three move into a quaint rural home that was once the site of a double homicide, perpetrated at the hands of a man (Pruitt Taylor Vince) who hears the voice of the devil in his head.

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Jesse Hellman (Ethan Embry), father and husband, is a contract painter and metalhead. He’s a young-at-heart, hippie-looking pot smoker who hates painting flowers for banks. And he also picked the wrong house to move into.

Sean Byrne, whose directorial debut The Loved Ones provided an Continue reading The Devil’s Candy (2017) Movie Review →

All Movie Reviews, Comedy, Leave it

Chips (2017) Movie Review

CHiPs. California Highway Patrol. Also, an ’80s television show starring Erik Estrada that is no longer culturally relevant.

There is not much to say about CHiPs, so I will try and keep this short. For a silly reboot comedy, this film about two motorcycle police officers goes dark in weird atonal ways. Heroin, sex addiction, and suicide are all introduced as plot devices within the first 10 minutes of the film.

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As a comedy, the film is, by and large, serviceable. Continue reading Chips (2017) Movie Review →