Category Archives: Long Reviews (>400 Words)

Patriots Day (2016) Movie Review

Patriots Day, the other 2016 film from director Peter Berg that stars Mark Wahlberg, is a big question mark of a film. It is not a question mark in terms of why it was made or how it was put together, but in how to approach it from a viewer’s perspective.

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The film is a dramatic depiction of the Continue reading Patriots Day (2016) Movie Review

The Bye Bye Man (2017) Movie Review

I was going to come home from the screening of The Bye Bye Man and write a scathing review. I was going to give it a quadruple F-. I was going to tear the film apart and bury the pieces.

But first I told my roommate about this terrible film. I let him know; I said: “Don’t go see this film called The Bye Bye Man…” As the words of the film’s title left my lips, though, I started hearing things. A coin dropping to the floor. Scratching on wood. The sound of my girlfriend having sex with my best friend.

I was going to write an F- review of The Bye Bye Man but…don’t pay money, don’t see it. Don’t Pay Money, Don’t See It. DON’T PAY MONEY, DON’T SEE IT!!

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In 1969, a reporter (Leigh Whannell) goes on a murdering spree over a name that people in his neighborhood keep spreading around. “Don’t say it, don’t think it,” he mutters to himself as he paces around his suburban street with a shotgun, stalking people down and shooting them after they comically run away at half speed.

Flash forward to present day, three personality-devoid college students rent a seemingly mansion-sized house.  The trio include a couple comprised of Sasha (Cressida Bonas), a character whose only character trait is that Continue reading The Bye Bye Man (2017) Movie Review

Never Say Never Again (1983) Movie Review

A little over a year ago, I went on a journey through the entirety of the James Bond franchise, reviewing each film in my James Bond Retrospective.

The one film I neglected to review was the unofficial, non-Eon Productions James Bond film from 1983: Never Say Never Again.

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There are a few reasons why I never reviewed this film. First off, I was recruited through my reviews to edit and contribute to a James Bond website via Fansided. With this and reviewing over 20 Bond films in the course of two months, I succumbed to Continue reading Never Say Never Again (1983) Movie Review

The Rifle, The Jackal, The Wolf and The Boy (2016) Short Film Review

In a rural forest, the snap of a rifle shot breaks the quaint silence. Two brothers (Fidel Badran and Jad Badran) stand over their unseen prey, taking a beat before they go about covering their tracks so their father does not realize what they have done with his hunting rifle.

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The Rifle, The Jackal, The Wolf and The Boy is the familiar feeling of childhood guilt ratcheted up to grim stakes. The narrative itself is almost absurdly simplistic, and the film chooses to rely instead on Continue reading The Rifle, The Jackal, The Wolf and The Boy (2016) Short Film Review

Timecode (2016) Short Film Review

“Luna (Lali Ayguade) and Diego (Nicolas Ricchini) are the parking lot security guards. Diego does the night shift, and Luna works by day.” This is the IMDb description for Juanjo Gimenez Pena’s short film Timecode. It is terse and unassuming, seemingly mundane. Yet the CCTV cameras in the lot, when set to secret timecodes, tell a different story.

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There is a heartening simplicity to Timecode. Marked by its levity and brevity, the short film follows Luna in her isolating Continue reading Timecode (2016) Short Film Review

13th (2016) Movie Review

The 13th Amendment to the Constitution of the United States abolished slavery, effectively guaranteeing every American citizen be free. That is to say, every citizen who is not a criminal.

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Ava DuVernay’s historical documentary makes pertinent use of this word. With every mention of the word out of interviewees’ mouths, the term “CRIMINAL” flashes on the screen. And with each instance, Continue reading 13th (2016) Movie Review

Fences (2016) Movie Review

Fences is an adaptation from the stage written by August Wilson (the playwright) and directed by/starring Denzel Washington (the star on stage). It is the stage talent taking the play and directly adapting the source material to the screen. And it feels like it takes place on a stage.

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Sets, even the city streets filled with film reference shops like Rosebud beauty salon and the Grand Hotel, feel like Continue reading Fences (2016) Movie Review

Lion (2016) Movie Review

The first notable aspect of Lion, the international homecoming story from Garth Davis, is the abrupt sound design. The vibrant score of piano and strings that accompany massive birds-eye-view shots of the countryside is immediately striking.

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The mechanical dissonance of trains and people in a busy market are contrasted by immense silences, as when Saroo (Sunny Pawar) loses his brother Guddu (Abishek Bharate) in a train station. When the train pulls off with Saroo Continue reading Lion (2016) Movie Review

Elle (2016) Movie Review

Elle opens on the immediate aftermath of a rape. More specifically, Paul Verhoeven’s film opens on protagonist Elle (Isabelle Huppert) cleaning up afterwards as a means of hiding the crime’s existence. Her nonchalance over the issue becomes an anomaly. “I guess I was raped” is how she breaks the news to her closest friends. The police are never involved.

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Yet she prepares herself for another attack. She sleeps with a hammer by her pillow. She purchases pepper spray and a hatchet.

Elle is a slow-burn thriller about the nature of power. Elle’s character is introduced as a bifurcated one, trapped between Continue reading Elle (2016) Movie Review

La La Land (2016) Movie Review

The opening number of La La Land, the new musical from Whiplash director Damien Chazelle, is the appropriate first impression of Los Angeles: a gridlocked freeway of cars sitting idle. Only, instead of the frustration and cynicism that would arise from this situation, people burst into hopeful song and dance among the stalled cars. In a rush of agile choreography, a rainbow color scheme, and immense depth staging, a flurry of people dance on hoods and sing of the wonder of Hollywood sunshine.

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At the culmination of this tune, we are introduced to Mia (Emma Stone), another hopeful going over audition sides in her car as she waits, and Sebastian (Ryan Gosling), who honks aggressively at her when she refuses to move once the congestion breaks up.

With the first few scenes, La La Land presents itself as a

Continue reading La La Land (2016) Movie Review