All posts by Alex Brannan

Evil Bong (2006) is a Masterpiece

July 12, 2016 Alex Brannan

To those whom it may concern, spoilers for Evil Bong.

Alistair (David Weidoff) is a nerd; we can tell from his symmetrically parted hair, glasses, and pocket protector. Alistair moves in with three cool bros named Larnell (John Patrick Jordan), Bachman (Mitch Eakins), and Brett (Brian Lloyd); we know they’re cool because they lift five-pound weights, eat red meat, and always ask if you’re a narc before letting you into their crib.

Our heroes are tragic figures. Bachman’s seashell busted from mishandling, he is destined never to hear the ocean again. Once primed to be a major leaguer, Brett lost his shot at stardom due to Continue reading Evil Bong (2006) is a Masterpiece →

Box Office Most Wanted

Box Office Most Wanted Ep. 4 – We Are Your Friends

July 10, 2016 Alex Brannan

Box Office Most Wanted is a series dedicated to discussing some of the lowest grossing films of all time. The list of films can be found, and are ranked according to, the Box Office Mojo list of the “Worst Openings – Very Wide,” which is to say the lowest grossing opening weekends from films released in 2,000+ theaters domestically (U.S. and Canada).

We Are Your Friends

Release Date – August 28, 2015
Production Budget – $2 million (estimated)
Size of Release – 2,333 theaters
Opening Weekend Box Office – $1,767,308
Total Box Office – $3,591,417
6th lowest box office opening in a wide release ever

Cole (Zac Efron) is a young, up-and-coming DJ in the San Fernando Valley. He and his best friends are…douchebags.

The first five minutes of this film shows us that it doesn’t know what it wants to be. It begins as a Continue reading Box Office Most Wanted Ep. 4 – We Are Your Friends →

All Movie Reviews, Comedy, Like It

Mike and Dave Need Wedding Dates (2016) Movie Review

July 7, 2016 Alex Brannan

After a string of boisterous, and often dangerous, benders at family gatherings, brothers Mike (Adam Devine) and Dave (Zac Efron) Stangle are asked by their family to bring respectable dates to their sister Jeanie’s (Sugar Lyn Beard) wedding in Hawaii. Who they find, however, may prove to be even more boisterous than the Stangle brothers themselves.

As is common with most comedy films, Mike and Dave features characters who are Continue reading Mike and Dave Need Wedding Dates (2016) Movie Review →

All Movie Reviews, Comedy, Indie Films, Love It

Swiss Army Man (2016) Movie Review

July 7, 2016 Alex Brannan

Swiss Army Man begins with Hank (Paul Dano) about to hang himself, a corpse washing upon shore, and lots and lots of farting. The movie is, in short, a story of friendship between a stranded man and a corpse. This corpse, named Manny (Daniel Radcliffe), has special bodily abilities that have the capacity to help Hank find civilization again.

The film initially holds a tone, and some early shots, that are reminiscent of Wes Anderson’s more subdued works. It is quirky, endearing, and strangely blunt. However, as the film progresses it becomes apparent that this is a film with an authorial stamp of its own.

Radcliffe is fascinating as the deadpan human tool. Manny’s lack of worldview makes up much of what Continue reading Swiss Army Man (2016) Movie Review →

All Movie Reviews, Animation, Leave it, Quickie Reviews (<400 Words)

The Secret Life of Pets (2016) Movie Review

July 5, 2016 Alex Brannan

In The Secret Life of Pets, scrappy dog Max (Louis C.K.) finds his home dynamic thrown off kilter when his owner brings home a new dog, Duke (Eric Stonestreet). As a result of their differences, Max and Duke both find themselves taken hostage by animal control, sprung free by vengeance-seeking stray animals, and in a race through New York City to get back home.

The voice acting in the film is fairly strong across the board. Jenny Slate and Kevin Hart are perfectly cast into their roles and steal the show on the charisma front, although Hart Continue reading The Secret Life of Pets (2016) Movie Review →

All Movie Reviews, Animation, Long Reviews (>400 Words), Love It, Sci-Fi/Fantasy

The BFG (2016) Movie Review

July 3, 2016 Alex Brannan

In The BFG, a young girl named Sophie (Ruby Barnhill) is whisked away from her prison-like orphanage in the middle of the night by a giant (Mark Rylance). A Big Friendly Giant (an admittedly redundant name). The BFG takes Sophie to Giant Country, where he must hide her away from the other giants who aim to eat her.

The production design is the first noticeable facet of the film. The juxtaposition of set design between the luminous city streets and the wooded jungle abode of the BFG is clear, but one is not favored stylistically over the other. Both contain distinct Continue reading The BFG (2016) Movie Review →

All Movie Reviews, Horror, Leave it, Long Reviews (>400 Words)

The Purge: Election Year (2016) Movie Review

July 1, 2016 Alex Brannan

In the United States, a bitter political battleground is underway over the continuation of the Purge, an annual event in which all crime, including murder, is legal for a 12 hour period.

One former Purge survivor, Senator Charlie Roan (Elizabeth Mitchell), has dedicated her life and career to ending the Purge and is at the precipice of taking the presidency. Certain government officials who benefit financially from the Purge, however, are making it a priority to shut the senator up. Permanently.

To be fair, this is the most Continue reading The Purge: Election Year (2016) Movie Review →

All Movie Reviews, Drama, Leave it

Free State of Jones (2016) Movie Review

June 30, 2016 Alex Brannan

In 1862 during the height of the American Civil War, Newton Knight (Matthew McConaughey) is a Confederate medical runner on the Mississippi frontlines. When his nephew dies in battle, Knight decides to get out and give the kid a proper burial at home. Doing this, however, paints Knight as a deserter, and he is pursued accordingly by the army.

The film is stylistically Continue reading Free State of Jones (2016) Movie Review →

Action/Thriller, All Movie Reviews, Leave it, Long Reviews (>400 Words)

The Legend of Tarzan (2016) Movie Review

June 30, 2016 Alex Brannan

In The Legend of Tarzan, Jane (Margot Robbie) and John Clayton (Alexander Skarsgard), aka Tarzan, return to the jungle years after Tarzan has acclimated to high class civilized life. The story of their relationship is told in flashbacks, where Tarzan is seen as a boy raised by apes and Jane as the daughter of an American teacher.

These flashbacks are shot with little care. Motion is blurred. Camera angles are distorted and displeasing to the eye. The color palette is drab and cold.

When slave traders led by Leon Rom (Christoph Waltz) steal Jane away, Tarzan ventures to save her. The narrative is simple, and thus not the crux of entertainment value to be found in this film. What the film is meant to provide instead is Continue reading The Legend of Tarzan (2016) Movie Review →

Lists

Best Movies of 2016 (So Far)

June 29, 2016 Alex Brannan

We’ve reached the midpoint of the calendar year. A lot of movies have been released. Some surprisingly good. Others leaving a bad taste in everybody’s mouths. Here’s a list of some of the best movies of the year as of June 21, organized by release date.

Deadpool

Deadpool was a film that could have went poorly. Instead, it became one of the bigger surprises at the theater this year. Many were quick to note that Continue reading Best Movies of 2016 (So Far) →

CineFiles Movie Reviews