Category Archives: All Movie Reviews

The Girl on the Train (2016) Movie Review

Rachel (Emily Blunt) has an overactive imagination, living vicariously in her mind through the fantasy lives of strangers that she sees from her daily train commute. In particular, she is fascinated by a couple whose true lives are far less glamorous than the sex appeal that is seen as a blip on the passing train.

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The Girl on the Train is a mystery of sorts, but it is more akin to Continue reading The Girl on the Train (2016) Movie Review

The Accountant (2016) Movie Review

Christian Wolff (Ben Affleck), once an army brat raised under the strict militaristic rule of his father, is a crackpot accountant whose Asperger’s syndrome and radical upbringing create an eccentric skill set.

Armed with a poorly-motivated narrative deadline—do the job in time or go to jail—Marybeth Medina (Cynthia Addai-Robinson) is an analyst in the Treasury Department tasked with finding a “black money” operator who has worked with numerous terrorist cells, a man who is none other than Christian Wolff.

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The narrative of The Accountant weaves in and out of chronologies, perhaps needlessly, in order to Continue reading The Accountant (2016) Movie Review

The Flop House Trilogy: Castle Freak (1995) Movie Review

Caution: minor plot spoilers (for this 20 year old movie) below.

It is October once again, and that means it is time for some Halloween Horror. In this iteration, we discuss one of three B-movie horror films that are oft-recommended on The Flop House podcast by Stuart WellingtonCastle Freak may not actually feature a man who rips his own ding-dong off (spoilers?), but that does not mean it isn’t a B-movie classic by B-movie master Stuart Gordon.

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Writer-director Stuart Gordon is perhaps most well known as the director of the B-movie classic Re-Animator, his first feature film, or From Beyond. But Gordon also made a little direct-to-video movie entitled Continue reading The Flop House Trilogy: Castle Freak (1995) Movie Review

Miss Peregrine’s Home for Peculiar Children (2016) Movie Review

The preamble to Tim Burton’s latest, a fantasy novel adaptation, introduces a multi-faceted allegorical fable that mixes grief, childhood imagination, and Holocaust fears into a hideaway fantasy realm. Miss Peregrine’s (Eva Green) children’s home remains perpetually in September 3, 1943, the day when a German air raid bombed the building out.

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Jake (Asa Butterfield), a lonely boy in his own right, travels to find the home (in 2016) following the death of his grandfather (Terence Stamp), a former resident of the home. Through way of the cavernous entrance into a Continue reading Miss Peregrine’s Home for Peculiar Children (2016) Movie Review

Goat (2016) Movie Review

Brad (Ben Schnetzer) is a college-student-to-be. His brother Brett (Nick Jonas) already attends the college he is accepted to, and Brett is a member of an elite fraternity on campus as well. Brad, still recovering from a brutal physical assault, is convinced to join the frat, where his ethical patience is severely tested.

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Goat has an introduction that is evocative of other movies of its ilk. The “wild life” is in full effect, portrayals of Continue reading Goat (2016) Movie Review

ARQ (2016) Movie Review

ARQ, the new original movie from OTT service Netflix, is woefully standard. Not only is it woefully standard, but it is a blatant premise ripoff of the criminally under-seen Edge of Tomorrow. Renton (Robbie Amell), or, as he is affectionately referred to by his compatriot Hannah (Rachael Taylor), Ren, finds himself stuck in a time loop paradox in which the same infiltration of his hidden compound occurs over and over again.

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The world of ARQ is the typical post-apocalyptic science fiction: savages and raiders rule, food is a scarce resource, random technological innovations litter the screen. This said, the world of ARQ is not Continue reading ARQ (2016) Movie Review

The Magnificent Seven (2016) Movie Review

Antoine Fuqua’s reboot of the seminal 1960 Western The Magnificent Seven (itself a Westernization of the 1954 Akira Kurosawa film The Seven Samurai) has a distinctly modern feel to it. Bandits have been replaced by violent capitalists. The fear of the outsider has been replaced by the fear of the wealthy. Of course, there is the fear-of-the-other narrative that introduces Denzel Washington’s Chisolm that screams modern relevancy. It is, however, a commentary only hinted at.

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What we get in lieu of commentary is Continue reading The Magnificent Seven (2016) Movie Review

The Light Between Oceans (2016) Movie Review

Derek Cianfrance, the director of The Place Beyond the Pines and Blue Valentine, returns with a story that is similarly bleak and heart-wrenching, despite what the title might have you believe. The Light Between Oceans tells the story of a married couple (Alicia Vikander and Michael Fassbender) who, after multiple attempts, fail to carry a child to term.

Cianfrance brings style to the film, but it does not make up for the pitfalls of narrative and thematic substance. Lighting and framing capture picaresque cinematic moments from the 1920s Australian landscape. The sound design, in certain pivotal scenes, is fantastic. The film appears very much, and very adeptly, like a film.

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Fassbender and Vikander come together to make up the tragic couple. They are the film’s driving force, and they are both wonderful. Rachel Weiss, in addition, is absolutely riveting in a criminally small supporting role.

The issue with The Light Between Oceans is Continue reading The Light Between Oceans (2016) Movie Review

Blair Witch (2016) Movie Review

Blair Witch chronicles the “documentary footage” of a college student and his friends as they search through the mythic Black Hills Forest for his sister Heather Donahue, who disappeared in the woods years earlier.

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From the onset, Blair Witch follows the beats of its predecessor, the surprise 1999 hit The Blair Witch Project, as if the studio and creative team believed that the audience this film is marketed toward has never seen the original film. This, or they Continue reading Blair Witch (2016) Movie Review

Snowden (2016) Movie Review

A movie by a veteran (yet perhaps out of touch) director starring Joseph Gordon-Levitt depicting a true story that was previously depicted in an acclaimed documentary. Is this The Walk. No, this is Snowden.

Snowden follows the CIA career and subsequent “whistleblowing” of Edward Snowden (Gordon-Levitt), as well as his relationship with Lindsay Mills (Shailene Woodley).

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Snowden’s script at times reads more like a civics lesson than a drama. Feeling the need to Continue reading Snowden (2016) Movie Review