Category Archives: Leave it

Movies I wish I had skipped. This could be for any number of reasons: the film was made sloppily, the narrative didn’t engage me, or I simply could not connect with the film in any way for whatever reason.

All Movie Reviews, Drama, Leave it, Long Reviews (>400 Words), Sci-Fi/Fantasy

Bright (2017) Movie Review

So get this: it’s a buddy cop movie starring Will Smith. Yeah, sure, it reminds one of Bad Boys, only Smith’s partner Jakoby (Joel Edgerton) is an Orc. And Smith’s character, Ward, is racist against Orcs like the rest of the police force. In this universe, pretty much everyone is racist against Orcs, and Elves, and Fairies. At one point, Smith swings a broom at a Fairy, trying to kill it, and says: “Fairy lives don’t matter today.”

So, you know, the film’s subtle.

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Ward and Jakoby find themselves in the middle of a war between the police, various gangs, and some assassin Elves. It is a war over a misplaced wand, which, based on what people are willing to do for it, seems to have an equivalent power to Continue reading Bright (2017) Movie Review →

All Movie Reviews, Comedy, Leave it, Long Reviews (>400 Words), Sci-Fi/Fantasy

Downsizing (2017) Movie Review

Alexander Payne’s latest is a sci-fi comic drama about a man named Paul Safranek (Matt Damon) who decides to engage in the biggest scientific innovation since the Apollo space program: Downsizing.

Downsizing, or “going small,” is the process of shrinking one’s body down to five inches and moving to one of many small communities, a “magical” place where everything is cheaper because the quantity the consumer requires is smaller (although, economy isn’t all about quantity…if there’s a demand for small diamonds, wouldn’t the price of small diamonds go up regardless? But I digress).

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Downsizing has a sprawling plot. For a film about shrinking a person and putting them under a glass dome, there is a lot of movement. Too much, to be frank. The first act of the film is firmly planted in Continue reading Downsizing (2017) Movie Review →

Action/Thriller, All Movie Reviews, Leave it, Long Reviews (>400 Words)

Justice League (2017) Movie Review

The headline way to start this review is to say something along the lines of “Justice League is a garbled mess of a film with no notion of subtlety.” It wouldn’t be a false statement.

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But there are redeeming qualities to the latest DC film, coming to us by way of Zack Snyder with some re-shoots done by Joss Whedon. There is a Continue reading Justice League (2017) Movie Review →

All Movie Reviews, F Movies, Horror, Leave it, Long Reviews (>400 Words)

Bedeviled (2016) Movie Review

Bedeviled is the type of teen horror film that thinks it’s being clever. It thinks that it is in on the joke. It thinks its making a joke. The only thing funny about it is the laughable screenwriting and nonsensical internal logic. Beyond that, I don’t know what directors Abel Vang and Burlee Vang were going for.

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Imagine a world where teenagers are hooked on the latest hip app, which is essentially an evil Siri. Only, it’s name is Mr. Bedevil and he holds full sentient conversations with the characters in the film, who do not even begin to Continue reading Bedeviled (2016) Movie Review →

All Movie Reviews, Comedy, Leave it, Long Reviews (>400 Words)

Daddy’s Home 2 (2017) Movie Review

There is a moment early on in Daddy’s Home 2 where Will Ferrell’s character walks into the house after he and his “co-dad” Dusty (Mark Wahlberg) pick up their fathers (John Lithgow and Mel Gibson) at the airport and exclaims: “We’re back…with more daddies.”daddys-home-2-review

That is all the summation necessary. From here, the film moves from location to location with only the slightest amount of Continue reading Daddy’s Home 2 (2017) Movie Review →

All Movie Reviews, Drama, Leave it, Long Reviews (>400 Words)

LBJ (2017) Movie Review

If you ever wanted to hear Lyndon Johnson (portrayed here by Woody Harrelson) discuss the hang of his testes, Rob Reiner’s LBJ is the film for you. The subject comes up twice, showing up again near the end as if it is a brilliant comedic callback meant to elicit hoots and hollers.

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I was surprised to hear, two days before the film’s release, that there was a Continue reading LBJ (2017) Movie Review →

All Movie Reviews, Comedy, Leave it, Long Reviews (>400 Words)

A Bad Moms Christmas (2017) Movie Review

Is this funny?:

  • Having a child unknowingly describe sex as if it is a fight between mommy and daddy, because this has never happened in a movie before
  • Calling a woman with a uni-brow a “Sasquatch”
  • Having a grown person take a hit from a joint while ironically exclaiming that she is being more responsible

Action/Thriller, All Movie Reviews, Comedy, Leave it, Long Reviews (>400 Words)

Thor: Ragnarok (2017) Movie Review

Thor: Ragnarok is a messy film. It’s main villain Hela (played with scenery-chewing glee by Cate Blanchett) is side-lined for most of the film. As is Asgard, the place that is in mortal danger from the Goddess of Death that is Thor’s (Chris Hemsworth) sister.

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Do not be fooled. This is the main conflict of the film’s plot. Although, for the most part, Thor and pals are relegated to another world entirely.

Thor and his brother Loki (Tom Hiddleston) are left stranded on this planet, Sakaar, but they are stranded in Continue reading Thor: Ragnarok (2017) Movie Review →

Action/Thriller, All Movie Reviews, Comedy, Leave it, Long Reviews (>400 Words)

Suburbicon (2017) Movie Review

There is a moment in Suburbicon when you realize that the closest comparison to other Coen brother films is Blood Simple, in that it is bleak with few characters to latch onto and identify with. It is at this moment, when you realize that this is not so much a dark comedy as it is merely a dark movie, that it becomes very hard to continue investing yourself in the antics.

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The film focuses on a family man named Gardner Lodge (Matt Damon) and his son, who are victim to a home invasion in the faux-idyllic, nebulous ’50s neighborhood aptly-named Suburbicon. You don’t know Continue reading Suburbicon (2017) Movie Review →

All Movie Reviews, Halloween Horror, Horror, Leave it, Long Reviews (>400 Words)

Jigsaw (2017) Movie Review

Where to begin with Jigsaw, the sort of sequel, maybe soft reboot of the Saw franchise that comes seven years after the last Saw film and narratively taking place 10 years after John Kramer’s death?

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How about start with the first thing we hear. It is a revamp of Charlie Clouser’s Saw theme song: “Hello Zepp.” The song, here in Jigsaw, sounds less Continue reading Jigsaw (2017) Movie Review →