All posts by Alex Brannan

Box Office Most Wanted Ep. 3 – Alone in the Dark

Note: Heavy spoilers for Alone in the Dark.

Box Office Most Wanted is a series dedicated to discussing some of the lowest grossing films of all time. The list of films can be found, and are ranked according to, the Box Office Mojo list of the “Worst Openings – Very Wide,” which is to say the lowest grossing opening weekends from films released in 2,000+ theaters domestically (U.S. and Canada).

 

Alone in the Dark

  • Release Date – January 28, 2005
  • Production Budget – $20 million
  • Size of Release – 2,124 theaters
  • Opening Weekend Box Office – $2,834,421
  • Total Box Office – $5,178,569
  • 27th lowest box office opening in a wide release ever

 

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Time to put on my serious face!

Oh, Uwe Boll, how majestic a creature thou art. Your movies are like nails on a chalkboard personified, and nobody will fund your next movie. You are cinema’s magical unicorn without Continue reading Box Office Most Wanted Ep. 3 – Alone in the Dark

Independence Day: Resurgence (2016) Movie Review

After 20 years of dormancy of alien technology left on Earth after the events of Independence Day, the alien presence suddenly returns. It is a resurgence, if you will. There are far more specifics involved in the plot, I guess, but none of it really matters. This movie is about one thing and one thing only: awesome science fiction fight sequences.

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We get this, eventually. Until then, it is mainly just Continue reading Independence Day: Resurgence (2016) Movie Review

The Neon Demon (2016) Movie Review

The first image we see in The Neon Demon, following a glittery opening credits sequence featuring trance synths, is a shot of Jesse (Elle Fanning) lying on a couch, her throat slit and blood draining down her limp arm. It is a photoshoot, captured by a leery-eyed Dean (Karl Glusman).

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Jesse is trying to break out in the modeling business, moving to Los Angeles on a whim and being whisked away into an indulgent world of Continue reading The Neon Demon (2016) Movie Review

Weekend Box Office Predictions: 6/24 – 6/26

This weekend has a slew of new movies being released. Independence Day: Resurgence is looking to be a box office smash as its predecessor once was, although the numbers will likely be far less stellar. The Blake Lively thriller The Shallows, too, is looking for a piece of the pie by also providing a throwback to a box office behemoth of old, Jaws.

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Free State of Jones and The Neon Demon also have releases. The former is hoping for Continue reading Weekend Box Office Predictions: 6/24 – 6/26

The Shallows (2016) Movie Review

On a Latin American beach, a young boy finds a helmet with a waterproof camera attached to it that depicts the brutal death of a surfer at the hands of a shark.

We then cut to an unnaturally high key-lit, lens flare-heavy jungle road in which Nancy (Blake Lively) is being driven to a beach, only to find that her surfing buddy has flaked on her. She decides to go out to sea on her own, though, given the sentimental value of the beach that she doesn’t know the name of.

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This scene is shot like a dream sequence, but unintentionally. Lens flares and distortion caused by the angle of the camera on the car causes Continue reading The Shallows (2016) Movie Review

Clown (2016) Movie Review

Clown, “presented” by notable horror director Eli Roth and written-directed by Cop Car and future Spider-Man: Homecoming director Jon Watts, has gotten a U.S. VOD and limited theatrical release after two years. The film was made and premiered prior to Watt’s last year’s critical darling Cop Car, and it is a psychological horror film involving everyone’s favorite terrorizing force: Clowns.

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When the hired clown cancels last minute, Jack’s (Christian Distefano) birthday party is in jeopardy. Luckily, good ol’ dad Kent (Andy Powers) swoops in to save the day, Continue reading Clown (2016) Movie Review

Central Intelligence (2016) Movie Review

Two high school peers: one, Calvin (Kevin Hart), is destined for greatness, and the other, Robert (Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson) is relentlessly bullied into submission. 20 years later, Calvin is at a dead end job with no hope of upward mobility and Robert is looking to reconnect. Only, this seemingly innocent encounter promises to be something much more impactful on Calvin’s life.

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This is the basic setup. Hart plays the straight man and Johnson plays the odd man. Johnson here plays a character with Continue reading Central Intelligence (2016) Movie Review

Land and Shade (La Tierra y la Sombra) (2015) Movie Review

Alfonso (Haimer Leal) travels to his old home, where he meets the family he abandoned: his wife (Hilda Ruiz), his ailing son (Edison Raigosa), the son’s wife (Marleyda Soto), and his grandson (Jose Felipe Cardenas).

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The first few shots of the film are Continue reading Land and Shade (La Tierra y la Sombra) (2015) Movie Review

Weekend Box Office Predictions: 6/17 – 6/19

June is about to get a facelift at the box office thanks to the major release of the new Pixar film Finding Dory. The multi-demo-hitting film will easily take number one this weekend, and it could best its predecessor financially given its positive reception.

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The other new wide release this weekend, the Kevin Hart-Dwayne Johnson action comedy Central Intelligence, will likely Continue reading Weekend Box Office Predictions: 6/17 – 6/19

Piper (2016) Short Film Review

Piper is the latest in a long line of pre-feature Pixar short films. This particular animated short debuted ahead of Finding Dory, and, while Finding Dory is an all right time at the movies, Piper may blow it out of the water (apologies for the pun).

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The film is simple enough in narrative with a sickeningly adorable conceit: Continue reading Piper (2016) Short Film Review