Category Archives: Long Reviews (>400 Words)

The Lovers (2017) Movie Review

Mary (Debra Winger) and Michael (Tracy Letts) are married. They are also both planning to leave the other to run off with their lovers, Robert (Aidan Gillen) and Lucy (Melora Walters) respectively. Both of them plan to drop the big news on or around the visit from their son Joel (Tyler Ross).

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And that’s the ticking clock. In the meantime, the couple is meant to Continue reading The Lovers (2017) Movie Review

War Machine (2017) Movie Review

Glenn McMahon (Brad Pitt) is a celebrated, if not eccentric, United States Marine General tasked with leading NATO forces in 2009 Afghanistan. In 10 minutes, David Michod’s War Machine introduces McMahon’s team, none of which appear as appealing as Pitt’s left-eye bulging, tight-lipped officer of the people.

McMahon is tasked with handling relations with Afghanistan while the war winds down under the Barack Obama administration. It is a “nation-building exercise,” one which McMahon takes on with gusto.

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Pitt’s character is, in delivery, an aged version of Lt. Aldo Raine. A gruff southern accent and a high degree of eyebrow expressivity control them both. Except, here, Pitt’s McMahon is Continue reading War Machine (2017) Movie Review

Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Men Tell No Tales (2017) Movie Review

Franchises, by their very nature, are formulaic. As such, those who enjoy the Pirates of the Caribbean formula will likely find some enjoyment in this fifth installment. Because it is exactly the same film as the others.

The glaring issue with these films is quite clear. Pacing. Set pieces in Dead Men Tell No Tales, from moment one, are overblown and tiresome. The introduction of the enigmatic Jack Sparrow (Johnny Depp) begins light and humorous, but this apt intro is squandered when the chase sequence extends far beyond its reach.

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Aside from these pacing issues, in which scenes continue far past their natural expiration date, the attempt at story in this fourth sequel is Continue reading Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Men Tell No Tales (2017) Movie Review

Baywatch (2017) Movie Review

Remember CHiPs? Remember how that worked out? Yeah? See where I’m going with this?

Starting from a baseline jump in which no one can possibly take it seriously is seemingly a good place for a film to begin. Expectations are meaningless when you are a high concept soft reboot with guaranteed bankability.

With the bar set this low, we shall look at Baywatch with a grain of salt (I would say sand, but this review is no laughing matter).

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Matt Brody (Zac Efron and his washboard abs) is a disgraced two-time Olympic gold medalist whose career has been ruined by an unfortunate, vomitus-centered relay race. With no sponsors, job, or home, Brody has only one place to turn to: Continue reading Baywatch (2017) Movie Review

Alien: Covenant (2017) Movie Review

Alien was set against the backdrop of corporate struggles between white collar and blue collar. Aliens: on the backdrop of ragtag soldiers not understanding the gravity of their situation; an extended metaphor for Vietnam, if you will. Alien 3, although flawed for it, is about religious persecution by way of prison purgatory.

Alien: Covenant? It is set on the backdrop of ironic lost love. Thanks, Hollywood.

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On a colonization vessel, the Covenant, headed for an Earth-like planet, an aberration in space causes a handful of the thousands of passengers to lose their lives. Among them is Continue reading Alien: Covenant (2017) Movie Review

Aliens vs. Predator: Requiem (2007) Movie Review

In preparation for the May release of Alien: Covenant (Dir. Ridley Scott), CineFiles is looking back at the decades-spanning horror sci-fi franchise. In this installment, we look at the ill-received Aliens vs. Predator: Requiem, the second film to pair the two horror monster heavyweights.

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A dramatic reenactment of a pivotal scene from AVP: Requiem

Directed by the Brothers Strauss (Colin and Greg), the film involves, like its immediate predecessor, a Continue reading Aliens vs. Predator: Requiem (2007) Movie Review

Alien: Resurrection (1997) Movie Review

2379, hundreds of years after her death, Ripley (Sigourney Weaver) is cloned by United Systems Military in order to extract the xenomorph larvae from her pregnant stomach.

A simple setup: another space station, another alien, another situation Ripley has to get herself out of. If it ain’t broke?

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Alien: Resurrection is director Jean-Pierre Jeunet pre-Amelie and writer Joss Whedon just as he was finding success with Buffy the Vampire Slayer. Two heavy-duty cinematic work horses behind this studio-infiltrated franchise sequel. What could go wrong? Continue reading Alien: Resurrection (1997) Movie Review

Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2 (2017) Movie Review

On a planetary system called The Sovereign, the Guardians of the Galaxy defend some golden batteries from a large squid monster. Upon success of this task, the golden inhabitants of the planet that houses these golden batteries pay the Guardians. They then chase them down violently when it becomes evident that one member of this indelible crew, Rocket Raccoon (voiced by Bradley Cooper), stole some of these batteries for his own gain.

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This long diversion about batteries aside (and, yes, batteries take up a large portion of this film’s narrative), Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2 is about Continue reading Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2 (2017) Movie Review

The Circle (2017) Movie Review

Mae (Emma Watson) is stuck at a dreary temp job. Her car barely runs. She lives at home with her parents. Effectively, she’s stuck.

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Then, through a connection in friend Annie (Karen Gillan), Mae lands an interview at The Circle, a hip-and-trendy tech outfit that is, on contact, Orwellian. Or, at least, Continue reading The Circle (2017) Movie Review

Alien 3 (1992 & 2003) Movie Review

There is a stigma to Alien 3, the third installment in the massively popular Alien franchise and David Fincher’s first directorial effort. Pulled out of the world of music video directing, Fincher was given the lofty task of continuing the sci-fi horror series. The end result was massive studio interference that led to two drastically different cuts of the film.

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The 1992 theatrical cut was heavily edited down, leading to a far less cohesive film. It is still Continue reading Alien 3 (1992 & 2003) Movie Review