Tag Archives: 2017

Action/Thriller, All Movie Reviews, Leave it, Long Reviews (>400 Words), Sci-Fi/Fantasy

Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Men Tell No Tales (2017) Movie Review

Franchises, by their very nature, are formulaic. As such, those who enjoy the Pirates of the Caribbean formula will likely find some enjoyment in this fifth installment. Because it is exactly the same film as the others.

The glaring issue with these films is quite clear. Pacing. Set pieces in Dead Men Tell No Tales, from moment one, are overblown and tiresome. The introduction of the enigmatic Jack Sparrow (Johnny Depp) begins light and humorous, but this apt intro is squandered when the chase sequence extends far beyond its reach.

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Aside from these pacing issues, in which scenes continue far past their natural expiration date, the attempt at story in this fourth sequel is Continue reading Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Men Tell No Tales (2017) Movie Review →

All Movie Reviews, Comedy, Leave it, Long Reviews (>400 Words)

Baywatch (2017) Movie Review

Remember CHiPs? Remember how that worked out? Yeah? See where I’m going with this?

Starting from a baseline jump in which no one can possibly take it seriously is seemingly a good place for a film to begin. Expectations are meaningless when you are a high concept soft reboot with guaranteed bankability.

With the bar set this low, we shall look at Baywatch with a grain of salt (I would say sand, but this review is no laughing matter).

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Matt Brody (Zac Efron and his washboard abs) is a disgraced two-time Olympic gold medalist whose career has been ruined by an unfortunate, vomitus-centered relay race. With no sponsors, job, or home, Brody has only one place to turn to: Continue reading Baywatch (2017) Movie Review →

Box Office Predictions, Movie News

Weekend Box Office Predictions: 4/19 – 4/21

In 2012, Prometheus became the highest grossing Alien movie (not adjusted for inflation). Weirdly enough, it wasn’t really an Alien movie at all.

But the numbers make sense, given the film was Ridley Scott’s return to the beloved franchise that he created. Alien: Covenant, releasing this Friday, is Scott’s return to a real Alien film. Will it take number one this weekend? Do I like to use leading questions as a means of getting people on my homepage to click through to the full article?

Yes. The answer…the answer’s yes.

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Box Office Predictions: Weekend of 4/19

Continue reading Weekend Box Office Predictions: 4/19 – 4/21 →

All Movie Reviews, Horror, Like It, Long Reviews (>400 Words), Sci-Fi/Fantasy

Alien: Covenant (2017) Movie Review

Alien was set against the backdrop of corporate struggles between white collar and blue collar. Aliens: on the backdrop of ragtag soldiers not understanding the gravity of their situation; an extended metaphor for Vietnam, if you will. Alien 3, although flawed for it, is about religious persecution by way of prison purgatory.

Alien: Covenant? It is set on the backdrop of ironic lost love. Thanks, Hollywood.

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On a colonization vessel, the Covenant, headed for an Earth-like planet, an aberration in space causes a handful of the thousands of passengers to lose their lives. Among them is Continue reading Alien: Covenant (2017) Movie Review →

Movie News

Summer 2017 Movie Release Preview: July

July. There are movies. Some of them are big. Some of them will suck. Must I go on writing preamble?

 

July 7

Spider-Man: Homecoming

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Do we need another Spider-Man movie? He was my favorite comic book character as a child. Then I grew older and cynical and found out about Watchman and The Killing Joke. Either way, my inner child is sick of Continue reading Summer 2017 Movie Release Preview: July →

Action/Thriller, All Movie Reviews, Like It, Long Reviews (>400 Words), Sci-Fi/Fantasy

Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2 (2017) Movie Review

On a planetary system called The Sovereign, the Guardians of the Galaxy defend some golden batteries from a large squid monster. Upon success of this task, the golden inhabitants of the planet that houses these golden batteries pay the Guardians. They then chase them down violently when it becomes evident that one member of this indelible crew, Rocket Raccoon (voiced by Bradley Cooper), stole some of these batteries for his own gain.

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This long diversion about batteries aside (and, yes, batteries take up a large portion of this film’s narrative), Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2 is about Continue reading Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2 (2017) Movie Review →

Box Office Predictions, Movie News

Weekend Box Office Predictions: 5/5 – 5/7

One large new release will be looking to dominate the domestic box office to kick off May.

Marvel Studios has made it somewhat of a tradition to kickstart the Summer season on the first weekend of May, and 2017 is no different. Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2 will look to capitalize on the surprising success of the 2014 original. But it will also be going up against the international phenomenom that is The Fate of the Furious.

Box Office Predictions: Weekend of 5/5

Continue reading Weekend Box Office Predictions: 5/5 – 5/7 →

Movie News

Summer 2017 Movie Release Preview: June

June 2017 comes with a mix of high profile money makers, animated family affair, Summer horror counter-programming, and smaller films. We’re looking at a June box office that will see a DC figurehead go up against the seemingly unending onslaught of transforming toys. We’re looking at comedy and horror that will try to become surprise hits. And there’s a Tupac movie.

Let’s take a look at what June has in store.

 

June 2:

Wonder Woman

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Here’s why you don’t get your hopes up, folks. People will tell you that this looks like Continue reading Summer 2017 Movie Release Preview: June →

Box Office Predictions, Movie News

Weekend Box Office Predictions: 4/28 – 4/30

This weekend sees the new release of the Emma Watson-Tom Hanks thriller The Circle, based on the novel by Dave Eggers, and How to Be A Latin Lover, a comedy directed by Ken Marino and starring Eugenio Derbez and Salma Hayek.

Additionally, Bollywood sequel Baahubali 2: The Conclusion will be looking to make a similar smash to its predecessor. According to Box Office Mojo, the first film grossed $3.5 million in its opening weekend, and its sequel has already pulled in an estimated $2.5 million in Thursday night previews.

Box Office Predictions: Weekend of 4/28

Continue reading Weekend Box Office Predictions: 4/28 – 4/30 →

Action/Thriller, All Movie Reviews, Like It, Long Reviews (>400 Words)

The Circle (2017) Movie Review

Mae (Emma Watson) is stuck at a dreary temp job. Her car barely runs. She lives at home with her parents. Effectively, she’s stuck.

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Then, through a connection in friend Annie (Karen Gillan), Mae lands an interview at The Circle, a hip-and-trendy tech outfit that is, on contact, Orwellian. Or, at least, Continue reading The Circle (2017) Movie Review →